How to Retire Early (From Being Your Kid’s Secretary)
One of our primary goals in academic coaching and executive functioning development is to make sure students are empowered to take charge of their education. This empowerment comes from us, teachers, and parents. Part of this process is encouraging your student to take the lead on organizing their schedule and practicing organizational habits. It’s a win-win for you and your student… you don’t have to stress and they develop skills they’ll use well beyond school.
We like to start with planner usage and calendar organization because it is often the area parents are most involved and the skill student’s need the most help developing.
Google Calendar is a great tool for keeping all school and life activities in one place! Color coding helps to track what classes and activities you'll have on a certain day.
Encourage Students to Use Planners and Calendars
If your student is new to using a paper planner or online calendar, you may need to help them set it up. Encourage them to write down all homework, after school activities, and other responsibilities you’d like them to manage (such as chores or appointments). If your student uses one of these tools, encourage them to use it regularly and shift any ‘secretary duties’ you’d like off your plate.
Tips for Independence Through Planner & Calendar Use:
Defer to the calendar: If your student is consistently asking “what time is…”, ask them to check their planner/calendar for the answer. This may require putting family functions, sports practices, and all other events they could ask you about in there. You can sit down weekly to map out all upcoming events and make sure your calendars match up.
Communicating with teachers: Students are often used to their parents handling school matters with their teacher. Encourage your child to contact the teacher directly (talk in-person or by email) about school related matters. It may be helpful to email the teacher separately and tell them that this is a skill they are working on. This will help to gain support and patience from the teacher and allow for additional feedback on the student’s progress. Use our Teacher Meeting Log to plan teacher-student meetings.
Start now: The best time to start this planning is in middle school when the stakes are lower. Middle school is a valuable time to let students make mistakes, forget appointments, and leads to teachable moments and self-determination. High school students feel more pressure and this leads to parents being extra helpful to avoid failure. No matter what grade your student is in, start with lower risk independence-building tasks and encourage them to take on more responsibility from there.